The Mind of Mr. M

Teaching kids to work is no easy task. Today was a hard labor day at our house. We have a long list of things to do as we have been finishing the basement and still have boxes to unpack into room we are finishing.

Our kids are good workers but it’s definitely tough to keep them motivated when the are doing it all day. Today my son Jake, really wanted to play a game with me and was getting frustrated that his list seemed endless so I tried a new tactic, blunt honesty.

I went looking for him after his not returning after a task, and he was sitting on his bed looking down. I asked him what was wrong and he said he wasn’t having a good day because he hadn’t done anything fun and all he had done was work. I understood and told him this.

Jakob, there are days I feel the same way. I work because things need to get done and we have responsibilities to the family. I would love to just do fin things all day. But, if I did things I was supposed to do wouldn’t get done.  That won’t happen with your list today though, I will do it.

Look at me Jake, I haven’t showered and my shirt is soaked in sweat. I smell. I would love to go shower and sit down. But, I won’t until the chores are done. If you don’t do your stuff, I am going to be the one to do it. I will be disappointed but I will give you the choice.

I then told him it was up to him, but I had to get back to working. It wasn’t even five minutes before he came back out and helped the rest of the night. He worked hard without complaint and even tried to take over things I was doing and he did it without another complaint.

Now I know that there are chore charts, rewards programs, and positive experience activities out there designed to get your kids to learn to work, but sometimes honesty is all you need.

I have made comments to people about my just turned six-year-old Bella before. She is dense as all get out, and weighs about 52 pounds. She is not fat, by any stretch, but muscular. She has been in gymnastics for going on three years now and is very good…the only kindergartener in her class, yes, I am a dad I gloat.

However, tonight she even amazed me. My son has been doing push-ups each night to get to play a computer game with me before bed. He has to do at least 10 GOOD ones before they count. His sisters were taunting him, in a healthy way, of course, and Bella says, “I can do that.” I said, “You show him Bell, Bell.” So she gets down and does 14 or so GOOD pushups in a row. I think she got bored at that point as she was the only one still doing them. I tell my son he has to do sit ups too and he gets down to do them and so does Bella. He does a few, for which I am grateful, and I look over at Bella, who has her hands parallel to the floor, held out straight, not touching her legs still going down to the floor and back up with ease, I look at my wife and she just tells me, “They work on that in gymnastics.”

At this point I am impressed, as she is stepping on my toes a little and I throw it out that she should try something like planks. My older daughter, who has caught on to my surprise, agrees and I challenge her to show Bella how it’s done. The both get down, pushup position on their elbows, Bella is frozen straight before I even say go and the other gets into position.

I start the timer on my iPhone and they go for it. At about thirty seconds, Bella is looking around and giggling and asking how she’s doing, still rock solid. The other is glancing Bellas way every few seconds to see if she is ready to break, no such luck. At just over a minute her sister drops her knees and Bella is still asking if her form is correct and not flinching. We finally tell her she can stop and she says, “But I can go longer.”

Pound for pound, she is probably in the best shape in the family and doesn’t even realize it. I hope it stays that way. Something that she just can and wants to do naturally, that she remains happy with who she is.

If you are wondering why I would share this story about Bella, at the possible detriment to her siblings, I would have to remind you that rivalry is a great motivator, and my kids love praise. Each one of them has their own strengths and weaknesses and just because someone might get a little ruffled is no reason not to recognize an achievement.

So I just read an article that Anne Rice was quitting Christianity. Frankly, I don’t care either way what she does, that’s her agency at work and she is free to make her own decisions. However, she says she is doing it because she doesn’t want to be "anti-gay ... anti-feminist," and "anti-artificial birth birth control."

I just have to chime in, those things do not a Christian make.  I am so sick of people grouping all kinds of people under one umbrella to fit their needs. She says that as her reason for leaving, but my dear, you don’t have to give a reason and the one you chose simply isn’t true.

First let me say, I believe I am an Christian. I believe in God, in his Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I have faith, having no face to face experience, that they exist and play a large role in many things I don’t completely understand. Now you know, and I can move on.

Anti-Gay

I hate that people place this in the being a Christian category. Not being gay does not make you Anti-Gay. Just because you don’t live or want to PROMOTE that lifestyle does not make you and anti. Now before anyone starts beating me down, I chose my words carefully. I said promote meaning I am not a spokesperson for the gay community. However, I am not out trying to crush them either. I have simply chose a different lifestyle and chosen to promote it. That as simple as that. I am able and want to father my own children as naturally as possible. I am encouraging my children in the same fashion. I also encourage my kids to play sports and eat meat. That is my choice to do. Does that make me anti, nope.

Anti-Feminist

This is completely wrong. In fact, motherhood is one of the most revered occupation in the human existence. I completely encourage every woman CAPABLE of being a mother before all else. I had one, I loved mine. In the Christian world it was no small request that on the cross Christ requested his mother be watched over. Again, because I encourage motherhood over any other occupation, does that make me anti-feminist, not in the slightest. In fact, I have a six daughters that I have done everything in my power to cultivate their individuality and personal growth. My oldest, is simultaneously enrolling in college and high school so she can have her Associate’s Degree when she graduates high school. She wants to be author or counselor. Whatever, she chooses to do I support. You could say I am empowering my daughters to do whatever, they can, be everything they want. That is the complete opposite of anti-feminist.

Birth Control

This is a no brainer…It is none of my business what you decide to do about children, unless you jeopardize them in front of me. Again, I would encourage everyone that can support and care for their children to have as many as they would like. If you want them have them, if you don’t do something to prevent having them, before you are in the situation to make one. Plain and simple. I have seven children, they are my world.

I am a Christian, and Anne, you too can be whatever you like.

Today, my daughter's Young Women's leader stopped by to drop off some things for the upcoming girls camp and another registration for my oldest. She's very organized and I appreciate it. She spoke to me about how much she loves my girls and what an asset they are to the young women in their group.

Then, as she started to walk away she stopped and told me how great my relationship with them must be because they always talk about how much they do with their dad and how much fun I am. She said she wished all dad's had that kind of relationship with their daughters and said it was good to see it. It was a welcome comment as I don't really get much feedback directly from them. In fact most the time, I don't know what they think about their dear old dad. I know I make them laugh and I know that they love to go to the movies and hang out, but I guess I just assumed that's the way most dads are and none of them know how that plays out until much later in life.

I guess it may just be me missing my oldest this week and knowing that it won't be long before she move's on, but I am constantly hoping that a relationship beyond, "he's my dad," exists before that time comes. To think I have to go through that at least six more times is nerve racking. I guess, if I weren't concerned that would be a problem.

But for now, one day at time, just like everyone else.

More progress, this is the portfolio section done night before last, I am cleaning up the navigation with more user friendly and pronouced links.

This basically completes the leader boards and the portfolio. The lists were completed last night and I am working on the refactoring, should have a video out tomorrow.

Please, if you have suggestions or features, leave them here on my blog and I will see what I can do to accomodate.

Thanks.

So most people hate doing what they do away from work.  But, I actually like to build things. As such I have begun doing some development using the Empire Avenue API, jquery and C# web services. I have a working proof of concept (see the screens below). The images aren’t simply image mockups, they are screen captures from functioning prototype, using an iPhone emulator.

Now, my favorite game growing up was Monopoly, and Empire Avenue is a trading game…hence the codename Boardwalk.

If you are an EA’er, and are interested in giving feedback on a project that may or may not reach beta, please do!…here are the ROUGH teasers screens.

In the movie, Inception, a team of people submerse themselves into a dream world that they try to manipulate to complete arduous tasks. They are in constant danger being attacked by projections that don’t want them there. Because of the fantastic nature and their abilities within the world, many of them become addicted to the fantasy and soon desire more than anything to “live” in that world over the reality of the real world.

When I thought through this scenario, I saw so many connections to those who play World of Warcraft. Now, I do not play World of Warcraft, but I have and I know many people that do play it. From what I know of those people, the similarities between their live playing the game are remarkable.

In one scene in the movie, there are a dozen people that join together daily for several hours a day to stay in their dream state. It has become their reality. Because of what they experience and can do in that alternate world, reality is no longer good enough. They can no longer dream and do not want to be in the “real” world. It’s a scary thought to me, that there would ever be something I want more than the reality of being with my family here in the “real” world.

Last night I went out with my wife.  We went to a movie and had a blast. We got home about 10:00PM and spent an hour when we got home talking and settling the kids.

As I began to drift to sleep laying on my bed, while my teenagers were sitting talking to mom, my wife says to me, “Maddy, wants to go for a milkshake.” Initially, I thought I was dreaming but, it was reiterated a second time and I was pretty sure I was awake. I rolled over and looked at the clock and it was after midnight.

I told them everything was already closed, looked and their disappointed faces and closed my eyes again. Then it occurred to me that there was, in fact, somewhere open that served shakes. I opened my eyes to see if they still looked disappointed and sure enough…

That’s when I thought to myself that I am currently their only available date, for at least another year for the oldest, possibly longer if I can get my way. So, I hopped up and we headed off on a date at midnight. I popped on some tunes we started singing along as we drove off into the night.

We ended up at IHOP and had shakes and crepes…it was a blast.

I think as a dad, it is easy to excuse what your kids want because of what you want. But, I think that when you are teaching your kids about personal relationships and the people the should date, our example is very important. I want them to know that the people they date and do things with should make them feel important, because they are and they need to know that.

So, I admit I am not exactly normal but there is something to said in doing things just because it is what's right. We have been living in our new house for a couple months now. We have kept a few things in our old house because, frankly, no one was moving in there and we needed the space while we got settled in our new house. We stop by there once a week or so, just to check on things but today we had our final load. Now, mind you we have no obligations to the old house, the owner had to sell and told us we had to move. But they are decent people and they are trying to do what is best for them.

While we were over there today, we noticed the grass was dying. We finally had the power turned off because the realtors showing the house kept turning on the air and running up the bill. With the power off the sprinklers don't run automatically, so while we were there we watered. Last week, I noticed the grass in the back yard had grown to over a foot, so I borrowed a mower and mowed it. I figured, it's not going to help them to sell it, if it looks like a jungle.

So, we finished packing up (all that was left was the metal Costco shelves) and even though the garage was empty, it desperately needs to be swept. Nothing major on the floor, just dust and debris, but it wasn't the best and so we are making another trip to go over and sweep the garage and probably water again.

Why do I share this? It's because it's a disorder….we can't leave it knowing we didn't do our best and we aren't doing it for them. It's because that's the way it should be…

Now, I can't say I am like this in every situation, I am fallible, but in this situation that is the way it is.

So, I asked my kids to take Chloe for a walk. I try to get them to do it in the evenings because it is cooler and Chloe will actually walk instead of make you drag her around in the heat. They headed around the block and hit a spot where someone’s dog had left a landmine. Chloe was interested of course, paused but kept moving on. I know, “Where is this going?”

Anyway, there was a couple of people walking behind them and they yelled at my kids asking them if Chloe had left that there, my kids said no and the people replied with more contempt (my interpretation), and said, it must have been another bulldog and said the HOA isn’t going to be happy with it. Sounds like a threat to me…

Then they proceeded to discuss among each other, something that was obviously none of their “business.” I have to say, I truly despise the HOA and the way it is used as a bouncer at a club, for both threats and bullying. In reality, it’s a bunch of *ahem* crap.

My kids came back and told me what had happened, and I went to investigate because usually if my kids feel it is important enough to remember and share with me, it evoked some emotional response and is therefore important.

I went to investigate and no one was around and everything was still in place. I am baffled that someone would be so concerned about their neighborhood and not do anything about it. What is that mentality? Did they leave it because it wasn’t their dog, for evidence or just because they are lazy as whoever originally left it there.

I know the topic is a little off but it riled me…and yes, I did take care of business.

So, as today was my first “recreational” golf tournament, I would be amiss if I didn’t actually gain something from the experience. So, here are a few things I learned.

• Golf is not baseball, swinging as hard as you can does not correlate as much as you think with the distance your ball travels.
• Golf carts have three speeds, stop, go and oops-i-forgot-the-brake-coast-down-the-hill.
• The numbers on the golf clubs mean something…(not sure what, but they do).
• The trees on a golf course are there to protect other golfers from bad players’ drives.
• Good golfers do not think “bad golfing” jokes are funny.
• You can usually play nine or eighteen holes at a course, it is dependent on the patience of those you golf with.
• A golf course is a beautiful place to spend the day, as long as you don’t have to golf.

In all, I had a terrific time. I did enjoy it and have discovered one more place for improvement in my life.

Hobble Creek Golf Course
Hobble Creek Canyon Rd.
Springville, UT 84663

So, today on Facebook, I saw a post someone had made that was very derogatory towards an individual that looked like they may be struggling in their life situation. Now, I have been guilty of teasing or making fun of people for no other reason than a good laugh, but today I was really struck by what I saw in the photograph and corresponding degradation of this person.

The picture was of someone who was homeless but there was obviously a relationship of sorts between the person who posted the picture and the person in the picture. The person who posted knew them by name and knew enough information about the person in the photo to be able to explain how and why he had the picture.

The person in the picture was overweight and not well kept and you could tell they knew the picture was being taken. What stood out was the expression on the person’s face. I could have very well been reading into it, but their was pain in their eyes. I don’t know how else to describe it.

It made me wonder if they understood or knew that they were being mocked. I wondered if they were ok with the teasing and harassment because it at least gave them some level of social interaction. It made me consider what many are willing to put up with just to feel accepted.

Part of me is all to aware of that situation, calling someone a friend not because they were a friend, but because they let me call them one as long as they could say whatever they wanted about me and get a couple laughs from it.

Now, I recognize that this is some peoples nature, they aren’t necessarily trying to be “bad” people. Some may not even see anything wrong with it. For me though, I think it stood out enough to make me more careful what I say and do for a laugh and be more cognoscente of the person I at which I am poking fun.

I think that sometimes as parents we assume bigger/more is better. I know that sometimes, I judge the effectiveness of a birthday party or family activity by home much we spent. I have on occasion been known to say, “Do you guys realize how much we just spent for that, you should be happy.”

What in essence I am doing is telling my children that happiness can be bought. The reality though can be found in Bella’s birthday yesterday.

We asked her several times what she wanted and what she wanted to do for her birthday, and in all her responses, she gave us a list that was to me, to easy to be true. A haircut, gum, her fingernails painted and Chinese food for lunch. I kept asking, are you sure. Now granted Bella turned six, but she was sure what she wanted.

All of these things did include one other requirement. She wanted to go and do these things with Mom AND Dad.

As I left for work, because I had to work, she reminded me of her simple list and asked me where I was headed. I told her Mom would take her and I was going to work. The look on her face told me how she felt. When I got to work I called home and told my wife to stop by my office on their way out.

Long story short, when they showed up, I got in the car with them and accompanied Bella on her birthday.

When we finished out the birthday activities for the day, I learned something very valuable about what brings us happiness. If you look close in this picture you may see it too.

I remember when I was a child, the first time my stepfather had dinner with my extended family. It was my grandmother and grandfather and a couple aunts and uncles. My grandmother made pork chops and there were just enough for everyone to have one. When the plate came around for my stepfather to serve himself, he grabbed two. I remember my grandfather's face and comment. I can't repeat it but he was none too pleased. I can remember the silence that followed and an uneasiness that ensued for several nights when it came time for a meal.

I found out when I was a teenager, not sure how it came up, that my stepfather was raised in a family that if you didn't get it the first time it came around you didn't eat. It was somewhat of a free for all and consideration was not what was free. It made sense at the time that personal histories have a huge effect on manners and courtesy.

However, I have noticed something that actually has begun to bother me. Recently, in several circumstances, I have partaken of meals that I have noticed the same hoarding behavior. I have seen people in lines at potlucks or other activities, that I know their backgrounds and circumstances and when they serve themselves, they pack their plates. The children are not going hungry; in fact many of them could use a lesson in portioning. Yet, they act the same way my stepfather did for completely different reasons. It's something I have a tough time understanding.

Many times, when I attend activities that involve meals, I understand that the underlying reason behind them is to make new friends and socialize. I also realize that for some, putting together food or treats for group activities is no easy task. There should be a level of gratitude that would slow someone's natural instinct for gluttony. I think that we are too indulgent and self-centered as a society. Those parents aren't teaching their children about moderation, and that in turn we are creating insatiable appetites that are extending beyond food. We aren't doing our children, friends or family any favors by pretending not to notice.

So what do we do, how do we stop the hoarding and begin to realize that what we take for ourselves, affects what's left for others? Or have we reached the point that nobody even cares?

Going back to my stepfather, he ended up working hard to teach me this principle. He said, on many occasions that I shouldn't follow his example, that I could be better different and I knew what was right. What I saw and see today, is someone trying to undo years of learning something one way to find out what is best is totally different and I respect that because that he is doing something about it.

Today, my Bella turns six years old. She is a beautiful girl with an innate sense of femininity. We have told her since she was born that she is a princess and she firmly believes it. She has one of the kindest hearts I have ever seen and believes in fairy tales. I am so grateful that she is my child. In her belief she is a princess, she has encouraged me to be a king.

My they grow up fast! Here’s my Bella a couple *ahem* couple years ago…

Ok, so here's situation. The company I work for does an annual team building activity in the form of a golf tournament. Teams are created from the employees of the company and they spend the day out on the greens. It's an awesome activity, so I have been told, that everyone enjoys.

One problem, I don't golf. Not, "Hey, I'm not that good." I don't golf. I have a close friend that is a Golf Pro and used to teach lessons. He and I went out to the driving range for him to give me a few pointers. I think he lasted 20 minutes before he tried to pay me off with something cool to drink and suggested a movie.

I did actually play nine holes once when I lived in California. Of course, we were supposed to do all eighteen but on the ninth hole, I hit the top of the pro shop and the asked us to leave.

So, I would be lying if I said I was totally comfortable with the upcoming tournament. The did however, mention that last year they handed out $25 Best Buy cards to everyone that participates, and I have humiliated myself for much less, so I'm in.

We are getting ready to have a night with the family. It is the first Sunday night together since they, everyone but me, returned from vacation. We usually have Sunday nights reserved for family night, a night the ENTIRE family spends doing something together. We usually try and keep it fun and upbeat, and quite often we end up laughing and having a blast doing it.

I was talking to someone about it and they were enamored with the concept and thought it was a fantastic idea to be able to do something like that regularly. To me, their reaction was strange because I just assumed everyone does that already. As I probed a little, they said, they do family vacations and go to movies occasionally but they didn't have a specific night each week that they dedicated to it.

Now, don't get me wrong, we do occasionally miss a week here and there but it is an exception, and the impact is felt in the kids attitudes and getting along. So my question would be, what do most people do to build and maintain, their relationships with their kids?

I know growing up, we rarely, ok never, sat down to dinner together. We always ate in front of the TV and we maybe went to the drive-in movies here and there. But, we grew up in a time when children were supposed to be seen and not heard. I can also tell you that didn't work out well for many families in that group...in fact, it has taken a good portion of my adult life to rebuild a lot of those family relationships.

So, what are you doing to build your families and develop those relationships?

So, last night, I took my two oldest girls out on a daddy-double-date night. We went up to Moochie's in Salt Lake City for Cheesesteak Sandwiches. They were featured on Guy Fieri's Drive-Ins, Diners and Dives and that is actually how I found them. As my daughter's are carnivores, it was a win.

After that, we went to the Jordan Commons Megaplex to see Disney's Sorcerer's Apprentice. It was fantastic. The inspiration is completely based on a short segment that was in the original Fantasia movie. The segment featured Micky Mouse as a Sorcerer's Apprentice that uses a spell to "clean-up" the castle and it goes awry and causes more work than he originally had in the first place.

Now, the movie, is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and stars Nicholas Cage, the two have teamed up several times to produce what many call popcorn action flicks. Knowing that, my expectations were pretty simple. But I was pleasantly surprised with the writing and humor in the movie. I seriously laughed the entire time.

Originally, I had shared several pieces, of the movie in this blog but have now deleted them...I just don't want to spoil it for anyone that is considering seeing it. I definitely think it is worth going to see with your kids...a definite two thumbs up!

So, family bonding time has reached all new levels. Back when I first started playing computer games, I loved to play Civilization. The graphics were pixelated and the game play was slow, but I loved it. I have, throughout the years, continued to play the updated versions of the game.

Tonight was pretty special; I got to play Civilization 4 with a few of my kids and my wife. My wife was more supervising and helping than anything else but it was great. I love games and computers and even though the game is a few years old now, it is so much more advanced than the version I was introduced to.

I enjoy the fact that as my kids get older, we seem to have more and more things in common. We get to do things that are more diverse. I know that I have a heavy influence on that of course, but I can't put the smiles on their faces while they are doing it.

So. my thirteen-year-old is sitting here next to my desk. She's watching what I am doing and when asked why she was sitting here she said, "I have nothing to do." I had planned on writing a blog and wasn't sure what to write about so, I decided to ask her some questions and see what her answers were. The following is my special Q & A with her.

Q. Who is the hottest boy in tv, movies or music in your opinion? And by hot, I mean someone that you wouldn't get tired of looking at.
A. [Long, long, long pause.] That' as tough question. It's between two people, David Archuleta and Alex Pettyfer.

Q. If you could pick one girl you would like to be more like, who would it be and why.
A. Hmmmm. You really type everything. Ummm…Mom. Because, she always knows what's best.

Q. What is it like having six siblings?
A. Very difficult.

Q. Why?
A. Because when you have older siblings, they feel like they are in charge and boss you around. When you have younger siblings, they don't want to listen to you. I don't know why, they don't want to listen to you and it gets frustrating.

Q. What do you like best about having and older sister?
A. Ummm….[pause] The fact that she knows how you feel about things and can give you good input about it?

Q. What's it like having the coolest dad on the planet?
A. [Strange Look] What was the question? [Repeat question] I had an answer but I don't think it goes along with the question. Well, writing blogs about you is just the beginning. He does a whole lot of interesting stuff that I would never ever think about. Like, reanimating certain characters to make them look more like him.

[Joined by older sister]
Sister: This should be titled blogging with a thirteen year old spaz.
[Banter between the two]

Q. What is your favorite thing to do with your family?
A. I would say going to Disneyland, but I have never been there. I would have to say miniature golfing.
Sister: Why, I almost killed myself.
A. Yeah, I know…giggle, giggle.

Q. Team Jacob or Team Edward?
A. Team Jacob, because Edward sneaks into people's room while they are sleeping.
Sister: Edward is a stalker.

[Arguing about pronunciation and my spelling and grammar.]

At this point I can't even begin to keep up with the two teenage girls, I pound my head on the desk until bloody and unconscious….

Daughter to Dad Q. Umm…dad how would you be writing that if you were unconscious?

[End]

I took my kids swimming yesterday that should be dead giveaway for the title of this blog. The place I take them swimming is a huge public pool and water playground that at any given point can have hundreds of kids and parents swarming around. People there come in all shapes and sizes and I can't help but wonder what people see when they look at me. Now don't get me wrong, I am not there to put on a show or impress anyone, in fact quite the opposite, I would live to enjoy the time with my kids complete devoid of concern for my appearance. But I can't, and why can't I? Because I look around at others and they are completely tied up in how they look and I feel compelled to be concerned too.

I see several men, dads, wearing t-shirts, tank tops or even scuba/body glove tops to cover them. I am fairly confident that is the reason they wear them as the water is in the 80's and the water park is almost completely inside so it can be year-round. They are trying to stay warm or stop the sunshine so why? I also see people constantly looking at others then evaluating themselves, others making faces of disgust when they see someone they think should be more covered. It's as though everyone there is judging someone or themselves, and I wonder if I should care more than I do.

But the reality is this; I hope that I can avoid ever becoming like that. I hope that my self-consciousness never over-powers me to the point that it distracts me from what I am doing and that is taking out my kids. They deserve my attention, not anyone else, their bathing suits, or weight. We are too obsessed with appearance and if you aren't careful it will cripple or limit what you are comfortable doing and I can only hope that no one will be robbed of an experience because of being self-conscious.

After 10 days of being gone to California, my family returned to me last night. It made me think about my life to come actually. I love my family and I can't image what I would do without them around. Then it occurred to me that I will find that out all to soon and it will be for more than 10 days at a time.

My oldest is fifteen, and will be graduated by 17. She is set on going to college, as she should be, and that will take her away from home at least for some amount of time. Conveniently, we live 30 minutes from the college she wants to attend, BYU and work five minutes from the school. You can see my train of thought; she can stay at home and go to school. But, the reality is she wants to experience, dorm life and the social and friend making benefits that come with it. I don't blame her in the slightest, though it makes me sad to think about it. Sad for me, I should say.

Now consider that I have seven children and I will repeat this in varying scenarios until all my children are off at college, and then hopefully married with families of their own. There is nothing I can or should do to disturb this process…again, sad me.

But, there is one thing I hope to accomplish. I hope before that happens that I can become so close to my children that they will at least on occasion want to return home to see their mom and dad. Then around a huge table with all my children, their spouses, and grandchildren we will eat and visit and catch up…and that makes me happy again.

There are two children in the car across from me in the parking lot. The teenage boy is asleep in the front seat, his sister is in the back. She sits there in her car seat, the windows down in this 90 plus weather. Her dark hair is gnarled and twisted. You can see dirt in the creases in her face beginning to turn to mud as sweat rolls from her forehead. The car seat is a hand me down, you can tell from the tears and the pattern of the cloth, no one could sell those now-a-days. She looks sleepy, her eyes sullen and grey. She seems a bit scrawny for how old she looks, I sit and watch and wonder her story.

From the store comes a man, his jeans covered in the grime of what has to be a twelve hour day. He doesn't appear to have showered in a while. He hides his hair under a baseball cap. His T-shirt has worn through under the arms and his shoes through the toes. He is carrying a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk in one hand and in the other an ice cream cone.

Her eyes, ignite in a gleam of happiness. She giggles from the moment he sees him come from the store. Her, cheer of, "Daddy," as loud and strong as her "thank-you," and "ice cream." The teenage boy awakes and smiles, I see as he sits up that his clothes are worn and but patched. He looks as though he has been in the same places his father has been. He too looks tired...but he is smiling. He looks back at his sister as his dad hands her the ice cream. His smile grows as she takes her first mouthful.

Dad get's in the car and ruffles his son's already disturbed hair and they exchange some sort of acknowledgement that I don't understand...but you can tell they are a family and they are happy...and that is all that matters.

I couple weeks ago, I was riding around with my son and asked if he wanted lunch. He loves hot dogs, sausages, etc. so I drove through Weinershnitzel. The added to their menu a sausage sandwich with the sausage cut in half between two slices of bread. It was what my son wanted. We place our order, passed out the food and continued our errands.

It didn't take long before I noticed that he was a little slower than normal eating one of his favorite foods. I asked him if it was ok and if he liked it and he said it was fine. A few minutes later, the same thing, I asked again and he again said it was "fine."

I figured it needed further investigation at this point and asked if I could have a bite. The sandwich was served on rye bread that looked very similar to wheat. Realizing that the taste was unfamiliar to him and probably not something he liked, as I personally can't stand it. I said, "Wow, I don't like that bread," and offered him my food. He agreed, and I took the bread off his food and we both ate happily.

As we continued on, my son says, "Thank you dad, it was really hard to pretend I liked that."

Though you may disagree, I find joy in knowing that my son cares enough about my feelings to try and make the best out of a situation. It is a good thing to be considerate of others, of course, only if it isn't a detriment to you. I will ensure he understands the latter. But, I am glad he is learning courtesy.

So, I have decided that you could never make a reality TV show about a dad that has his family leave for a while and follow him around to see his life. It would be the most boring show ever! This is the reality of men who are left to their own devices.

1. We will eat pretty much anything. I have caught myself a couple times smelling something to decide whether or not I was going to eat it…this is inherently bad logic because by the time something begins emanating an odor it is beyond the point of no return, at least as far as eating goes.
   
2. We can't dress ourselves…or at least maintain laundry. I washed my own clothes from about 10 years old but for some reason my washing abilities atrophied. I would wash but not fold and set the clean clothes on my wife's side of the bed. However, they began falling off the bed at some point landing where I took of yesterday's clothes. Again, I caught myself a couple times sniffing something to determine to which pile it previously belonged.
   
3. Personal hygiene is a convenience not a necessity. I didn't shave almost the entire time my wife was gone and once, again found myself using my sense of smell to determine whether or not I exceeded the convenience factor.
   
4. We really aren't very consistent about keeping house. My wife returns tomorrow and I seriously put off doing any major house work. As I am low on time, I decided, I need to take out the trash, clean out the turtle tank, scrub the bathroom…bet you can figure out how I came to those conclusions.
   

Now, if I can figure out how to use my wife's scented-candle-melter-lamp-thingy, I will be golden…

So, I recently watched the movie "The Blind Side." I hadn't seen it and it was a movie about football. I really came into it with no real expectations, I knew Sandra Bullock won and award and the story was based on NFL Player Michael Oher, that was about it. I'm not really going to talk about the movie, so if you are looking for a review, Google it.

What stood out to me is really one of a personal nature, I watched as this kid from a really bad life situation was receiving help at that hands of others and thought to myself, what am I doing to help others. Now don't get me wrong, I do help when and if I can. I have seen needs and done my best to contribute but it's always just been my best. Now you may be thinking, "Isn't that good enough". Well, I thought it was until I had a thought pass through my head, "Wouldn't it be great if, you were in a place to do more?"

I think about my situation and I am just like many others, working hard to provide for the needs of my family. My kids are well kept, healthy and have a roof over their heads. My wife is a stay at home mom of seven kids, which is more than a full time job. We don't receive assistance from any welfare or government organizations, we pay for things with our own money. We have debt, more than we should but we work hard to fulfill our obligations.

Saying that, I have to wonder whether or not getting by is enough? I mean should I have a more global perspective in the sense that I should be shooting a lot higher? I know that sounds rhetorical, but I think that I have been so proud of myself for making it to where I am that I haven't seen if I have the potential to reach farther. I guess, it probably makes me look bad, in the sense that one would assume that is supposed to be happening already, and I thought it was, but having your conscience pricked like I did, I have to wonder, am I doing everything I can.

I remember when I was younger thinking I could change the world, and I believe that the influence I have on my children and family is a huge step in that direction, but should that be it? Or is there more?

Now before you read this…please understand that I have six daughter and hold women in the absolute highest regard. (Doesn't it seem that many of my blogs start with a disclaimer?) I write this because what my daughter have to look forward to weighs heavily on me.

Last night I was hanging out with my sister-in-law and we went up to get pizza with some friends of hers. We went to The Pie in Salt Lake City near the University of Utah. There aren't many place like the Pie in Utah, it's somewhat seedy, in the sense that its ambience is dim brick walls with the signatures of past visitors covering its walls. Its tables were small and varying shapes with small red glasses holding candles. It is, however, a pizza place that is open very late into the morning. I give you that information, not to demean the location but in the name of full disclosure.

We had been there for a little and just gotten our pizza, which is wonderful and why everyone goes there, when a group of women came in. There were in their late twenties and had obviously been drinking. They were loud and dressed in short skirts, plunging necklines and extremely tight apparel. I am trying to avoid commentary and just provide facts, and have typed and deleted several lines while trying to explain this.

They sat at the table directly behind me so I could not avoid hearing pretty much every word spoken. They began arguing about Twilight and Jacob v. Edward. All their arguments were based on the looks of the two. This is fairly common among several ages of women and Twilight and non-Twilight fans, though I recognize that not everyone knows or cares about the topic. The way they spoke was what surprised me; their language was riddled with slang and superlatives. Their conversation then quickly turned to comments about men, ones they dated, ones they would like to date, which sounds fairly inert, but it was completely based on looks and comments that the MPAA would have placed a very restrictive rating on. I was fairly uncomfortable by the whole thing. Again, as I have friends of many ages and backgrounds that read this, I can't even begin to share the things said.

Now, let me say, I am not naïve, and it isn't women talking about men and the topic that was the surprise. I know conversations like that take place, I am not naïve. There is nothing wrong with a group of women talking and sharing details about their love, or dating interests. What surprised me was the shallow, demeaning conversation there were ok with sharing publically. To me, it seemed at some points they were simply trying to outdo each other in the same manner I have heard in men's locker rooms. Of which I am also not impressed with.

Now, to my thoughts…my concern and why this was surprising lies in the fact that I want the best for my daughters, I want them to value themselves, their virtue, and the relationships in which they are involved. I want them to pick friends that give them good counsel and watch out for them. I want them to be happy with whom they are and find boys/men that are interested in their intellect, sense of humor, and respect them. I want them to be interested in those things with who they date.

Too many women today struggle with perceptions of self-worth and don't receive the respect and admiration they deserve from the men who try and friendship or woo them. I hope the women from last night were simply being influenced by who they were with and what they had been doing and underneath all of that, figure out whom they are and what they really deserve and don't get tied into the derogatory experiences for which they are setting themselves up.

That's all.

So, I have played with images for a long time at work doing corporate advertising stuff and simple website mockups. I have extended family that are very good Photographers, they are my brother-in-law and his siblings. Shout out to David, Rich and Audrey. They take fantastic pictures. Anyway, I have recently been inspired to get into some artistic uses of photo manipulation. I have touched up some pictures and even gotten into removing backgrounds and creating new pictures out of pictures. I have shared a few of those before.

This is a copy of my latest experiment. The top is my final image the ones below it what I used to create it… If anyone knows of some good websites or tutorials, please feel free to share them.

Anyone ever try to write a paper arguing something you don't actually believe? I had to write a persuasive essay on just that and try to be convincing…REMEMBER THAT WHEN READING! :-D

In 1896, the Supreme Court ruled in Plessy v. Ferguson that segregated railroad car seating in Louisiana did not violate the black passengers' right to equal protection under the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution. This decision was the basis for most racial segregation in the southern United States. Though this decision stood for nearly half a century, it was overturned in 1954 in the case of Brown v. Board of Education overruling the "separate but equal" standard. I believe that segregation on the basis of color is in fact wrong. However, I believe that segregation on the basis of intelligence and physical ability is an absolute necessity in the competitive world we live in.

    I believe within the first few years of life a child's intelligence and physical skills can be determined. At this point in development those with superior skills should be removed from the distractions of a self-indulgent society and placed in educational colonies to continue development at a more advanced level of understanding. These colonies would be run by those of the highest intellect and understanding. Currently, the intermingling of average and below average children is taxing both the resources and time of those who educate, by requiring the "dumbing down" of lesson preparation. This "dumbing down" phenomenon occurs when a teacher must prepare a lesson that is below the skill level of the more advanced child to accommodate those children that are not quite "up to speed." This educational tactic is causing more and more children that are advanced levels of understanding to become bored and disinterested in the educational process. If these "gifted" children were able to learn at higher levels they would be able to achieve their full potential. They could also with their advanced intellect be trained to focus on more pressing issues of society and someday become its leaders.

    Now some may argue that intermingling children that have educational challenges with those who are obviously more advanced allows those with challenges to see what they can achieve. This is a fallacy. One's potential cannot exceed that which their intellect can handle. You can train a pig to bark but it is still a pig. By making a child think that it has potential beyond what modern science can determine is a deceitful trick. To get a poor child's hopes up making they think they can change the world then watching as their inevitable failure takes place is nothing more than a practical joke at that child's expense.

    Please don't get me wrong, I also feel that there is a good purpose for those who do not fall into the category mentioned above. Those that are not gifted with intelligence should be trained and exercised to perform laborious tasks for the general maintenance of society. For example, there will always be need for fast food workers, laborers, farmers and similar remedial tasks. These tasks however can be performed by anyone with a good back. Once an individual has fulfilled his responsibilities as a laborer society, or his faculties have reached a point of failure and he can no longer serve, a new individual may be brought in for a replacement. This process would be similar to replacing the spark plugs on your car at 50,000 mile intervals as required maintenance.

In recent years the cost of an education has grown drastically while the number of people that can afford that education has dropped. Under this new educational schema, the cost of an education would decrease drastically, when colleges no longer have to offer remedial classes for those individuals who don't qualify for classes at average levels. Because those who are unable to pass classes with a C-average or better would not be allowed to even attend college, a major requirement for financial aid, Government grants would reach those more intellectually qualified. With more scrutiny over financial aid spending and fewer unqualified individuals applying for government resources, a tax decrease would be inevitable. As you can see the financial benefits are obvious

So much money and time is spent on those who will never finish out their educations as well as those who don't do anything once they have received that education; it is a waste. In the end I must ask, why waste educational dollars and resources on those who will never succeed even with an education when there is already a place in society for them supporting those of greater intellect. Educational problems can be solved by simply segregating those who have potential from those who do not.

I came across this file on my computer; it was a short paper I wrote for a class many years ago and thought I would share…

I'm all alone here on this desert full of people. Warm sand wears away the calluses of a tired foot. The applause from the death of a weather pattern echoes off the rocky cliffs and the water cleanses the mind. I can see for hours, or at least to the sunset, as the taste of salt dries my lips. There is nothing greater than this excluding the pressing of little mouths to the cheek of those they call dad. Here I am like a soldier at the beaches of Normandy, fighting to stay a top the sanity in the war on families. Here I am armed only with a blanket and sustenance for the day. I do not fear, for the flights overhead are not those of the enemy. They are soldiers too. They are my friends here on this fountain at the end of the world.

    Without the protection of foxholes or trenches we sit and rest. A cease-fire has allowed for a moment to contemplate what it is we are truly fighting for. That is why I come here to be renewed, to be forgiven. I sit and contemplate the excuses I have for not returning more often as I watch the soldiers around me gaze into the sun's interrogating rays. There is in fact silence on the battlefield today.

    Looking about I can see the future and the past. I can see the souls eager to receive a contribution from the General that has led them into this battle. He still fights with us even though he left the battle long ago. He has given us this refuge, a reminder of how little we are by ourselves but no less significant than what I see around us. I come here to pay homage to this great leader. He has protected me and shown me how to fight. He has shown me how to stand tall. He has saved me from a death that would have come all too quickly if I had not learned to fight; to fight like he fights. Some are not so lucky; I come here so I do not have to look in the eyes of those who have chosen not to fight; those that will soon lose that opportunity.

    A collection of carcasses, cover the ground below my feet, those both small and large. Some wear armor much stronger than mine. They are heirs of a different battle. In loving memorial, my children gather their lifeless shells and stack them back to attention. "Shall we take them with us?" they ask. I tell them that though they don't understand now, the ones they gather must stay. I come hear to teach my children. They will someday become soldiers too. I come so that they may be gathered together and not fall victims to this lonely death. The death caused when one is not able to their control direction.

    I am weary now; I close my eyes and contemplate the sun. I feel its power both drain and renew my body. I hear the calm cadence carried by the breeze, reciting the ode to life in its whisper. There is nothing greater than this, my furlough from humanity. In this place I am united with solitude, here I am recreated. I am together at one.

    Time is all to short here at this place, this void in time. I awake to the sounds of battle in the distance. The sun is fleeing from me now. Many begin their march back to the battlefield, never looking back. It is my time to return to the fight also.

I stand and look about once more. My stomach expresses my fear of not returning. I try to holdback my emotion; a single drop of water completes my cleansing. I love this place. It teaches me to love and be loved. It has given me hope. I must begin my march; I silently pray that we will be sustained in battle. The enemy cannot have power over me; he cannot take this away. Here I am champion, this beach is secure.

Before you go off on me for writing this please understand that I am not a basketball fanatic. My wife is, but I am not. I don't care to watch basketball nor do I play basketball. The latter probably is in direct correlation with the first. But, like everything else in the world, I have an opinion and a blog and therefore I get to throw whatever I want out there…

On to LeBron, I recently read an open letter the owner of the Cleveland Cavs, Dan Gilbert, wrote to LeBron after finding out LeBron chose Miami. In the letter, he used some harsh comments directed at James. But, I have to say…I disagree with him.

LeBron James has a job, and it is to play basketball. For a player like him, he has so many accomplishments on his resume that there are very few things that he can use to validate his career. A NBA Championship is simply an item that his chosen profession covets and it denotes success in his sport, his legacy. That's what he wants to accomplish. I think that it is wrong for the owner of the Cavs to make some of the comments he has made about betrayal and loyalty and such, then throw out a comment like, "we will win a championship before LeBron gets one." Isn't that disloyalty, to a player that brought the Cavs some serious revenue and fans. Sadly, what I don't think he realizes, is that many of the people that watched the Cavs, watched because of LeBron. What Dan Gilbert is really doing is acting out in frustration because he is going to lose some serious money. And for him to promise to win a championship before LeBron, should actually have Cavs fans asking, and why the heck didn't you have this much commitment before he left, maybe he would have stayed. And if he can promise those kinds of results, even with James leaving, true Cavs fans are going to be better off anyway, right?

All in all, LeBron James, and the media circus surrounding his decision is a result of what the fans of the NBA have created. He is doing what he thinks is best for himself, and he has that right. If you said you were a fan before his decision, you should be a fan after because this is LeBron. If you were a Cavs fan before, then you should be a Cavs fan still because your owner has new found motivation for the team.

On a final note, all the teams that tried to get him aren't being toyed with. It's a business acquisition and they lost, suck it up and move on. In every city there are fans that wanted him…because of who he is…that says volumes.

Now, all that is left is seeing if he made the right decision, and honestly, he is the only one who can decide that.

Besides, football season is starting pretty quick and all of this will be old news…anyone know where Brett Favre is playing this year?

So, it's seriously backwards but I feel like I get more sleep when my family is here than when they are gone. I thought I would share some of the reasons that I have trouble sleeping and see if anyone else has the same issues:

• It's too quiet. When everyone is at home, I am used to hearing things going on in the house. Kids getting up to get drinks, use the restroom, slight snores and blanket shuffles are all things I am used to hearing. There is none of that when everyone is gone. It's crazy quiet.
  
• The list. This is what I do, when I got to bed. I think about all the stuff I am supposed to do, what I got done, and what I have left. Normally this is a conversation with my wife, without her around, I contstantly stress about whether or not I am getting it all which in the end results in waiting to do anything until she gets back to do any of it. This doesn't however; stop me from stressing about my list.
  
• All is well. This is a big deal. Normally, whether it is me or my wife, we do the all is well check. Make sure all the kids are in bed or headed that way. It is imperative to know everyone is safe before going to bed.
  
• Eating…when everyone is gone, I am horrible at remembering to eat. I usually realize that I haven't until right before bed and then I have to eat. When I don't eat, I get REALLY tired. Not sleepy tired, the I feel like crap and have no energy tired.
  
• What if…this is the worst of all the issues I have with getting sleep. I am such a creative person. ;-D I can imagine some very conflict causing stuff, and because the preceding bullet points don't get done, I fill that secure feeling at night with a ton of what if's what if something happens while we are apart, what it this, what if that… It's really stupid, but I think that same fault keeps me cautious and aware when they are around. When they aren't it's to my detriment.
  
• Filler, now filler is only a small **ahem** portion of what keeps me awake. I try and stay busy until it's time to go to bed and at bed time when I can't sleep, I will usually put on a movie or the TV. This is actually sort of funny because I truly don't watch a lot of TV when my family is around. On the flip side, I try to watch things that will interest me that I don't think my wife will watch with me. DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG DIRECTION. My wife is not a fan of cynical plot lines, anti-heroes or drama. Unless it is something based in old England or written by Jane Austen. So, this is the time I get to watch those. What happens is then I end up staying up later than planned watching something that caught my interest and using up sleep time.
  
• Chloe…my bulldog is a huge contributor to not being able to get a peaceful night's sleep. You see, she snores LOUDLY and all night. Ironically, that isn't what keeps me awake…what wakes me up is when I don't hear her snoring and have to check and make sure she is still alive.
  

The end result of all this is not being able to sleep and progressively getting more and more warn out while the family is away…but when they can't back, I am seriously going to have the best night's sleep ever!

So, my thought for the day is regarding Apple. It has become cliche to say it, but I remember in school doing everything on a Mac. I thought they were cool and I enjoyed the latest technology.

In lieu of recent events, and a very considerate employer, I was able to bring Chloe into work today. With as active as she is and her recent injury, it ends up working out pretty well.

So far, she has been wonderful, I can even sit with my office door open and she doesn't try to escape. I probably should have let everyone on the floor know she was here though, I had one co-worker walk in and actually jump when he saw her.

There is some humor in her being here too. I have had a couple people peek in when they hear the snoring.

I think that having her here also combats the feeling of being a little lonely the last week. I will however, have to Febreeze the smell from my office when she is no longer coming in with me.

I can't believe that I am only at day five...

This morning I started off with my normal routine; get up, get cleaned up, take Chloe on her morning exercise. You see, she is slightly overweight, not that I can really tell she's a bulldog so she has always looked like she just lost a bunch of weight and was only left with wrinkles.

Anyway, she isn't very fond of taking walks and I am a little insistent. After all, we want her around for a while and that means getting her healthy. We really don't go that far, maybe half a mile in all. For Chloe, waking to her food bowl is plenty though. Today though, she really seemed to be against walking. We only made it 100 feet from the house before she actually sat down.

Now, I am a reasonable man. But trying to reason with a dog that when sitting has the inertia of a small car, is no where near what I would consider easy. First, I gave a couple tugs on the leash and I could have sworn I heard it chuckle on my fourth an fifth tug. When that didn't seem to work, I did the next obvious thing, I got behind her and tried to push. That time it was a passing jogger that chuckled.

At that point, I did what anyone else in my situation would do, bribery. I said, "Wanna eat?" Of course she hoped right up and continued our walk. But, it was only moments before I noticed she was slowing way down and when I turned around to look, she looked to be skipping. Every step her back feet would only graze the ground before popping back up. Deciding that wasn't normal and unaware of any doggie versions of SYTYCD, I investigated.

Come to find out my two walks a day with my overweight bulldog, had given her blister on her paws, two of which broke open. I couldn't have felt worse if I tried, though I am sure she had me beat.

What a horrible dog owner, I turned out to be...I called my wife to tell her how evil I was...and she confirmed.

Needless to say, we skipped our walk for tonight and even for as awful as I was to her, Chloe still seems to love me...

So, does anyone one know where they sell Nikes in a four pack?

Traumatizing, simply traumatizing. That is all I can say about my experience today. I was at the gas station and there was a beautiful little girl picking out treats. Her mother was standing next to her somewhat distracted by her phone. She was a younger mom and I am fairly certain it was her first child. Watching her daughter scan over the gas station treat selection reminded me so much of my outings with kids when we stop and they ask for a treat. It's so fun to see their decision making process with something so important to them.

I watched them while I stood in line, yes, I am a people watcher. As they came up to the line to pay, I told the mom how cuter her daughter was, she said she was three. I then commented about how mine were out of town at the moment but I had one the same age. Then without looking up or giving a joking smile or anything, she asked me if I wanted her...now I KNOW that she was not making an offer to pass off her child. But, there was a sad honesty in the way she said it and the fact that she said it in front of that beautiful child.

I realize that being a parent isn't the easiest job and many times people become parents unplanned. I also know that sometimes parents can have a bad day and being a parent is the last thing they feel capable of doing. But please, be careful of what you allow to come into your mind. Be careful with what you think and what you say. Children are not dumb and some day they will pick up on the tone in your comments or the perception your comments portray. Or dare I say even worse, you may in a week moment act on a feeling or emotion that causes you to do something you will forever regret.

Now, I may be overreacting to a simple joke a mother was making, but to me my children are my world. I love them unconditionally. It is naive to think that everyone has the same perspective or feelings about parenting that I do, but it's also important that we encourage and help those that may be struggling to know there are solutions and help if they need it.

If you know of support or help in your area, leave a comment below with information.

Thanks,

Mr. M

I am thinking that today I would like to share the first little bit of the Declaration of Independence with everyone today. The reason I thought I would share is because I truly wasn't sure how many people know what it says.

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

What stands out most to me, is that the compelling reason for our county being formed was they believed that their freedom was a right given to them not from the governing bodies of man, but an inalienable right from their Creator. I wonder how many people believe that they even have a Creator, or who that Creator is. To those that follow or profess a religion, the topic is fairly easy to cover, but what about those that don't have a religion. How do you explain that the founding principles of our country came from their beliefs.

If someone doesn't have that belief, what do they believe grants them the rights of which our founding fathers spoke? The reality is that every man women in child in this world is granted those inalienable rights, not because they believe it but because their Creator does, even if they choose to declare their independence.

So, here it is a holiday weekend and I am alone and what is the one realization that I come to make? I am boring.

I can remember in a past life that I was pretty much one of the go to guys if you wanted to have some serious fun. And I am not talking the kind of fun that everyone else has where you don't remember what happened the next day, I mean, crackin' wise keep everyone smiling kind of fun. I can remember when people almost liked having me around.

I have come to find out, that really isn't the case anymore and the main reason is…people. I don't really know that many people around me anymore and the ones I do, I don't know on a social level. Which leads me to my next thought….

It's actually kind of said, that most of my friends are virtual. Now, don't take offense because really it's not a bad thing because I wouldn't get to interact with you socially otherwise because of distance, etc. But, I have discovered I really do have a need to interact with real people face to face.

That being said, I texted my sister-in-law to see what she was up to and she invited me to hang out with her and her friends or…do something else and I couldn't think of a single fun things…which (full circle)…

Am I That Boring?

Watching this movie tonight, I have come to realize that the stereotypes that follow being a dad are tough to overcome. Reality is, you do not want to be what you see on TV. I wonder if these stereotypes exist because most dads are like this or just because it's supposed to be funny.

1. Dad's are technologically challenged.
   

   I find humor in this stereotype, especially being a geek at heart. It seems that most the people that play dads in movies and TV are technologically challenged and need their kids to "show them" how to do pretty much anything that has to do with technology. Along that same vein, it appears that most dad's aren't very eager to adopt new technologies. For example, using a camera that requires film instead of digital. From my perspective, I try and keep up with technology, not only because I enjoy it but also because it will shape the future of my children. I definitely want them to get beyond thinking technology is just for games. But, I definitely wouldn't consider myself challenged.
   

2. Dad's can't handle bad news.
   

   I hate this concept. In movies, it seems like you hear people say, "Don't tell you dad. It will upset him." I realize that dad's including myself are prone to react. But, I think that it's our passion and love for our families that causes it. I think that we should be given the opportunity to share those emotions with our families. Families, are about sharing our lives. We are meant to help guide, influence and direct our families, how can we possibly do that without all the information we need. Share with us.
   

3. Dad's are idiots.
   

   I don't like that Dad's are portrayed as idiots. That they can't seem to do anything right and have no concept of what is truly going on in their families. I don't like that they nod in total agreement with whatever they are told, mindlessly.
   

4. You can't learn anything from a dad.
   

   This is the least true of an of the stereotypes, the reality is that good or bad, you can always learn something from you father.
   

   
    

Being a father is a huge responsibility, that some of us do take seriously. What other stereotypes do you see portrayed that you disagree with...

Ok, so technically, it has only been like seven hours but being a bachelor for the next little while already stinks. Mostly what stinks is trying to figure out what to do? I know I have plenty of around the house chores but I have to pace myself and only do those when I am desperate or else they'll run out.

I seriously don't want to waste a bunch of time on movies or games because really, I like to see progress in my life showing that I have accomplished something...ok that really isn't the case, I just can't think of any movies or games that are fun alone.

I am thinking that I really need to see about investing in some friendships...you know people you can call up and get together with when you have nothing else to do. Ok, so that sounds bad but you get what I mean.

The reality is that when you are married, you wife and children really are your first choice to do things with and having friends outside of that aren't really necessary because, well you have them. But boy it really throws your world a curve ball when they are gone and you have to try an remember how to stand up by yourself again, even if it is only for a couple weeks.

So today was Joey's first birthday and my wife was seriously getting anxious about the fact that we don't have any pictures of her done professionally. That being said, I called around to the cheaper places that do pictures and found out that even the cheaper places aren't so cheap.

Somehow, I managed to convince her that I could "do-it-myself" with our point and shoot digital and some photo manipulation. Now, by no means do I have a lot of experience with it. I have done some things here and there but really, I am just fascinated with pictures and combine that with geeking them out in a "Photo" program, well I figured what the hey...


Anyway, with my Kodak EasyShare and my computer I did the pics below...there is a before and after for each. My wife was even encouraging by saying they were good enough for what she wanted and the $3.80 prints at Costco made it even better.


Picture One:

Picture Two: