So, in the last little while I realized something, happiness is always getting to be yourself. I think most of this discovery is related to my overuse of social networking sites. You see, I have friends from all facets of my life. Times when I was up doing what I believed to be right and times when I was down and decisions I was making were less than admirable. Because of this, I have the opportunity for things to surface that could be a surprise to others, both ways. Now, I know there are those that avoid this by simply not acknowledging their old friends or carefully filtering their posts. I have to admit, there was a point in my life that something like that would have worried me but to be honest I am not sure why...
I think it is safe to say that everyone, changes and goes through stages in their life. Now, I am not in any way saying those stages are as drastic or different from one point to another, nor am I somehow excusing any behaviors that I may have had in the past. I am just saying that change is part of growing for good or for bad. I think that the important thing is being to recognize who you really are at each stage of the process.
It has taken years for me to come to accept that everything I have done or said in my life is part of who I am and trying to remove or pretend that things didn't happen is like trying to remove a vital organ and continue living. It just can't be done. Eventually, you have to accept every aspect of who you are...you don't have to be proud of every moment. I certainly am not. But you can't pretend they didn't happen.
Accepting things for what they are, may involve some apologies, both giving and accepting. It may involve being humbled, admitting mistakes and even shedding some tears but for me, it has allowed me to come to terms and be happy with who I NOW am.
I think social networking and media has opened up so many opportunities that I don't think I would have had in making amends with trespasses on both the giving and receiving ends. Now, I know that this may not make any sense, or pertain to everyone but for those few...I encourage you to learn to like who you are...after all, it's the only you, you've got.
I haven't always had the perspective I currently do but in the last year, I have gained much more insight into myself. I need activity. I have been a software developer for over ten years and sat behind a desk in front of a computer screen. I also pounded energy drinks in place of sleep. The result was high blood pressure, stress and multiple prescriptions to keep me functioning. I don't know what I was thinking, but I know I was on a path to an early demise.
In the last year, I have changed all that. It started out slow but has turned into a habit. Everyday for my lunch I hit the gym. It has replaced my fast food habit and dropped my blood pressure and stress levels greatly. It also allows me time to defrag and renew myself, which in turn has made me far more productive. I seem to be able to put a 100% for a more sustainable amount of time.
For me inactivity was my Kryptonite. I encourage anyone who isn't doing so, get up and get moving. You may think you can keep up at the pace you are now, but with a little more balance who knows what you can accomplish.
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So, I have been thinking about this way to long and I decided venting was the best way to go. Now, I can't be specific, surprisingly, there are people that actually read this blog, that know people, that know other people and people talk, and I don't want to offend...ok, enough with the disclaimer.
Now, I don't know how you feel about a mistake but, I am of the firm opinion that mistakes are what we learn from and how we grow. If we didn't make mistakes, we'd be perfect and everything we did would be right and we would get really bored, really arrogant and never have the joy of overcoming a challenge. When we err, how hard is it to say, "I'm sorry." Heck, if there is a possibility that something I did was a mistake, I apologize just for a perceived mistake. That being said, I don't think my "way of doing things" is normal.
I think people are deathly afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, to the point that they will actually attack someone else in order to keep anyone from finding out their short comings. I think, it's the "scare the bear" tactic. No matter how afraid you may be, if you scream and pound your chest loud and hard enough the bear will go away. But it should never be used if you walked into the bears house and started eating his porridge. It's not the bear who's standing where he shouldn't be.
Now don't get me wrong, I totally understand the role self-preservation has on us. That in our minds we weigh the outcome of admitting a mistake and sometimes we even temper the admission based on our expected reaction, but why?
Isn't it easier just to admit you are human and have faults? Then to try to pass off your mistakes to others?
Am I wrong here, or should I be blaming others more?
I posted a blog a while back that talked about as I get older the memories I have from my child hood seem to fade, at least the ones not constantly brought up in family get-togethers or such. It is sad really, because even what I remember, I am not sure I can say I remember correctly. Anyway...here is one of very few pictures of me and my real father, Robert Abeyta Hipol. I am not sure when exactly it was taken, but my mom agreed to let me have it.
Now, I remember looking at this picture for the first time and thinking, he seems like he likes me. I mean, he was compelled to take a picture with me. Then I thought, what was he thinking when he took this picture. I was still a toddler, and at that point in my life he was still around, what happened.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words...but that isn't true, sometimes it just leaves you with a thousand questions.
Ok, so I found a new obsession. It is a global stream of consciousness called twitter. What twitter is to some, may be of no interest, but to those who pay attention, it is nothing short of reading minds...at least those that want to be read.
Twitter is a self-proclaimed "micro-blog." Which is exactly what it sounds like...small to the point web logs of anything someone wants to write. Now, I have heard some compare Twitter to basically a status on Facebook. But I would have to disagree, it is so much more. But alas, I don't know how to describe it.
I will be the first to admit that I am probably not using Twitter correctly, but I recognize that other are and I am only beginning to scratch the service.
So, before I taint you with my impressions, check out Twitter for yourself and let me know what you think.
