When my fifth child was born, I was a little unsure as a father that I could spread myself among my children. To be honest, I wasn’t sure that my capacity to be a good father could spread that thin. It didn’t help my securities that she was very hesitant to come to me when her mother was around. That seemed to last for quite a while...then I left my job of several years and began working from home. I found that my daughter was very interested to see me throughout the day, and it wasn’t long before she was following me around and I didn’t get a lot of work done. For that reason, I started working late in the evenings after all the kids went to bed. Because of this crazy schedule, I began napping during the day about the same time as my then 18 month old. During that time of working from home, I developed quite a bond with that little girl and she with me. Now I definitely have no favorites among my children, but for this particular little girl, I realized that I had truly missed the experiences that I had missed with the rest of my children. I can only imagine the bonds; I could have created with the same opportunities. I just didn’t realize it soon enough.
Well, as you can imagine when you are trying to raise a family of what soon became eight; I couldn’t get my ends to meet the way they in which needed. I loved working for myself but, it just wasn’t enough to take care of my family. Long story short, an opportunity came that I couldn’t pass up. I prayed about it and discussed it and decided that in terms of our family, it would be best.
The opportunity required me to work out of state over the next few months, only to return home on weekends. Nobody wanted that to happen but there was no way around it with the cost of travel and gas. Again, more praying and hoping I could do what was right. It is probably, the toughest decision that I have had to make as a husband and father.
The little girl who had been following me around the last year and a half took it the hardest. Following me around every day and snuggling me through naps and tucking her into bed, was removed from her little world. She wanted to talk to me every day I was gone. I would record YouTube videos to send her and video chat with her at night. The rest of my kids didn’t like the situation either, but they were old enough to understand and know it was temporary. But she didn’t. It saddens me to know that I broke that little girl’s heart.
Well, as you can imagine when you are trying to raise a family of what soon became eight; I couldn’t get my ends to meet the way they in which needed. I loved working for myself but, it just wasn’t enough to take care of my family. Long story short, an opportunity came that I couldn’t pass up. I prayed about it and discussed it and decided that in terms of our family, it would be best.
The opportunity required me to work out of state over the next few months, only to return home on weekends. Nobody wanted that to happen but there was no way around it with the cost of travel and gas. Again, more praying and hoping I could do what was right. It is probably, the toughest decision that I have had to make as a husband and father.
The little girl who had been following me around the last year and a half took it the hardest. Following me around every day and snuggling me through naps and tucking her into bed, was removed from her little world. She wanted to talk to me every day I was gone. I would record YouTube videos to send her and video chat with her at night. The rest of my kids didn’t like the situation either, but they were old enough to understand and know it was temporary. But she didn’t. It saddens me to know that I broke that little girl’s heart.
We have been back together now for the last few months and she still loves me. But that relationship will never be the same. I know that many out there can look at my situation and some may deal with it differently, others the same. For me, it was truly a sacrifice, my children are my world. I doubt that she will ever understand what happened. To her things just became different...I think that is how it always is with the relationships we have with our kids. Someday, it is just different. It’s not something we can always undo, in my situation, regarding what was best for my family, I can’t say I would change it. You should make sure you enjoy every moment that you can with your children because one thing is in this world is constant...change.
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