Families Should Be Eternal

I have been very introspective today. A tradgedy took place this week when a very good man lost his wife. She was pregnant and had two children already. Her husband is one of the greatest men I know. Though, I don’t think I ever told him that. He reminds me a lot of my brother. He is one of those individuals that doesn’t back away from a challenge. He also has one of the greatest perspectives on life. I have known him since his teenage years though.

His wife is a beautiful woman and one of the kindest woman you’d ever meet. She has a radiant smile and a wonderful laugh.

All that being said, even with her early passing, I know that she will have an opportunity to be with her husband again. I know that she will be able to see her children and experience the unity and love of the family she brought into this world. I testify, families are eternal, that which is bound on earth is also bound in heaven. May we never lose site or hope that God has a plan for us on this earth.

I found this commercial that says it much more eloquent than I. I hope you enjoy it.

For Twitch...

Here is one of those moments in life you are just glad there was a video camera around and you have friend like Twitch. My embarassment it your gain.ENJOY!

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Don't Be The Fat Guy (Part 1)

So, I’m actually starting this blog in week four because I wasn’t sure if I would continue going or not and I didn’t want to be embarrassed by quitting in front of everyone. That being said...I have gone on the bachelor diet. With being away from home for the last four weeks, I have been exercising four to six times a week every week. It has been death...the first couple weeks I couldn’t walk upright and I am slowly evolving to upright and hope to prove Darwin correct in just a few more weeks.

The problem is that when you look in the mirror every day, you really don’t see the changes you hope for with all your effort. However, when I went back to a picture I took the day I interviewed to come to Utah, I couldn’t believe it. Granted, it may not be the before and after pictures you see in diet ads, but it is progress none the less. SOOOO...I thought I would post this blog and see if any of you agree with me. If you are wondering whether or not I am fishing for compliments...think of it more as encouragement. So, if that goes against your rules of flattery than that’s OK too, everyone that doesn’t respond, I will assume you are speechless.

(End of Week 4)

Freedom...

Being away from family does strange things to someone who is normally always with their family. You start to have thought pop into your head, like, "What if they forget me?" or "What if they realize how great life is without me around?"

I think in a lot of ways you get a true north on how you feel about marriage, family and children. I have discovered that my true north is being a dad and husband. I am out on my own with no one watching my actions or whispering in me ear about what is right and what is wrong. I could technically do anything I wanted to do, completely anonymously and no one would be the wiser.
It’s a freedom, I think we all believe we have all the time. But the truth is, its not until you are away from things that you realize that freedom to that degree isn’t freedom at all. In fact, the one thing I want to do more than anything else is to sit down with my family and give them all a great big hug. I can’t, so how free am I.

So, what do I do with my freedom?

I excercise. For years, I have been worried that if I got any unhealthier, I would miss all the wonderful things that are going to happen in my kids’ lives. College, missions, marriage, grandkids...I decided that if I have to be away I am going to GET healthy. I used to play football and I worked VERY hard to get into shape to get better. Today, I work harder. Ok, so part of that is because I am old and out of shape, but I will not let that beat me.

I use the time to read scriptures...I am trucking through the BOM. I am also picking up things that I have missed before. I am writing those things down. I decided I want to be a good source of knowledge to my family and also a better example.

I write in my journal...I write down the experiences that I have. I try to think about what I have learned or done...most of it is insight into me, but it is valuable to me.

I also talk to my family, the irony is that I look forward to five minutes a day to find out what is going on in their lives...and its not enough. I think that I took that forgranted the most when I was home. I am dissappointed in myself for that. I guess, I was too busy to realize how important that is to me.

*ahem*

Anyway, I didn’t write this to try and make anyone feel bad for me...DON’T. This experience will turn out to be the best thing that has happened to me in my life as a husband and father.
I wrote it down so hopefully some one reading may realize what is really important and maybe take a little more time to focus on it.

Meanwhile...this is what I look forward to:

Where’s Mr. M?

I thought I would take just a minute and let everyone know what is going on with me. I am in Utah. I was offered a job working for a great company that paid more than 30% more than what I was making in California. With the cost of living so much cheaper in Utah, it was really a no brainer for the family. However, it sucks to have to leave the comfortable, fun, friendship filled environment of good ol’ Cali.

It makes it even harder when you consider that to take the job, I had to come out to Utah, three months before my family. They are staying there to finish up this school year and then we will make the move here permanent.

That being said, I am now living in Utah in an apartment with three roommates whom I don’t know other than by name and have returned to bachelorville for the next three months. I already have a week under my belt and I have made some discoveries.

1. My magic closet is broken...it worked back home. I would walk up to the magic closet and it would always be replenished with clean clothes, socks and even my shoes left throughout the house could find their way back to the magic closet. Not here, this closet is broken.

2. My magic kitchen is broken too. At home around five-a-clock there would be a strange stirring in the kitchen and a warm meal would appear shortly there after. Not here...this stupid kitchen kicks out PB&J but only if I wave a knife through the PB&J and then over the bread.

3. This apartment has a different smell to it...my house always had different pleasant smells that would appear from time to time. That could have been from the six girls that shared it with me...this apartment smells like chinese food and teenage boys.

Those are a few of the things that I noticed right off the bat. Anyway, I guess I will go for now. I am doing my own laundry until the landlord gets the closet fixed.

For those of you that actually read this blog, feel free to leave a comment and keep coming back for updates.

Bouquet...

It looks up so carefully at the sun, all is beautiful. It is full of vibrancy and life. Everyday new, everyday beautiful. There is excitement in the air for all around are those standing strong and firm gazing heavenward. Joyful is the feeling for this experience...happy is world around it.

Time is cruel to love and flowers...

The sun stares down at the courageous ones, those who have overcome the dirt and heat of the wicked earth. One by one, they bow to pray that they may not wilt away like so many around them. The sun knows better than they about what is to come, for the sun has seen so many like them. Eventually, they close their eyes and pretend they will live forever...they only fool themselves.

Time is cruel to love and flowers...

Enlightenment...

I have made so many mistakes in my life they are hard to count. I have made some big ones, small ones...some the size of your head. Couldn't resist sorry.

I guess that when you are young and having fun you really don't think about your mistakes having a direct impact on others. In fact, I think there were times I was screwing up that I thought, "This is my life...I can do what I want..." and I was convinced that I was only hurting myself.

I think that today, I realized that is not always the case. Someday, we grow up. In some cases, we become respectable people and that's when our mistakes come back to us and have an impact. The irony, is it probably isn't in the way you would think. There are no skeletons in my closet that I am trying to keep hidden, that some tabloid has brought to life. There is no one blackmailing me to pay them to keep them from telling my family. I realize that in many cases I was just a screwed up person and I feel really bad about it, now.

I feel bad for the wake of people that I have left behind me hurt or sorry they took a chance on me. I actually run through a list of people in my head that probably took one look at my actions and made a life decision to do the opposite. I am truly sorry for it.

I think in a lot of ways, it is also doing some weird things to my perspective on others. I feel compassion towards those that are looking to be forgiven and recognize their mistakes. I also have become very protective of those I love falling victim to the mistakes that I have made. It worries me that Karma will come back to bite them because of me.

It seemed like when I was younger, I had so many good excuses to be who I was to be a victim of life instead of living up to what I knew to be right. Now, I think about it all the time...its haunting. It's tragic...in many ways it makes the fire and brimstone hell we hear about a welcome alternative. I know that sounds morbid...and many that will read this that know me now, may not ever understand this blog. That being said, I truly believe that there is hope...hope that the lessons we learn can be shared with others...to help them make good decisions and life with less regret and more joy than those that have passed before them.

Don't try and hide the past...learn from it.

Monopoly

So last night I began a wonderful family tradition, I sat down and played monoploy with my kids. It was a blast. I guess only playing once with my kids isn't quite a tradition. I can only hope that it will become one. Monopoly is one of my favorite games and I have some fond memories playing with my cousins, mom and uncle Tim. My uncle used to cream us, to this day I don't think that I have ever won a game against him. Of course, it's been a long time.

It made me think a lot about him. I love my uncle Tim. He was about the only father figure I had for several years. He always encouraged me to try hard at everything. Come to think of it, I fell in love with football because he used to let me play in the Toilet Bowl game New Year's Day when I was just a kid. It was a blast. We would play the game and someone would tape it. Then we would go to the local pizza place and watch the game and eat pizza. It was awesome!!!

I don't really know why he and I don't talk or hang out. I know that things got kinda tough for he and his family. They got even harder when my grandma and grandpa passed. I think I may have said or done something that hurt him. I am so sorry for that. He was such a huge part of my life and I owe him a lot for that. I hope that someday, I can iron out that relationship and tell him in person that I appreciate him.

That being said, I hope that I don't forget that is something that remains important and I follow through.

Mormon Neighbor Blog

I recently did a google search and realized how many people out there a putting anti-mormon information up on the internet. A lot of it is under the guise of "Witnessing To Mormons," "Helping Mormons" and other such nonsense. I thought it might be difficult for individuals looking for personal stories about members of the church to find them. That is why I created a blog for personal stories of members and possibly testimonies. It is not a blog to explain doctrine, I believe the church does that well enough at lds.org.

It think it is important to "Help the Mormons" find information about us Mormons. Many of you will understand the purpose of this blog, and I look forward to your comments.

Please let me know if you have any stories you would like to share or have your own Mormon Blog.

Today I saw my first SWAT team in real life. Apparently, there was an individual at the Thunderbird motel in Redding that barricaded himself in a room. I have to say, it is not like the movies. It was actually kinda scary. I could not believe all the on-lookers. I wonder what compells us to want to see things like that. Is it because we are desensitized? Today, I remember thinking that whoever was in there was a real person, with real problems. Not some hand written villian. The individual ended up taking his life. In movies, he could appear in another movie and would live forever on film. But this is reality, it's too bad these things happen.

It's also sad in many ways that I know I will look for it on the news and internet to find out the details, whatever they may be.
What really are the affects of media on us? Will we ever know?
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